


come my love, watch me fall apart

by hope27



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, undercover op gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 07:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope27/pseuds/hope27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A recon mission that takes them all the way to Munich goes horribly wrong.  One minute Felicity is right next to him, the next minute, she's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come my love, watch me fall apart

**Author's Note:**

> Title lyrics belong to Ben Howard ("Only Love").
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta, befitandchase on tumblr.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I love to hear feedback!

Oliver hadn't liked this set up from the beginning.  Too many people, not enough eyes to watch every direction.  They'd been weaving through the crowd of people in Marianplatz in the heart of Munich, Germany - his operation having taken them farther from Starling City than they'd hoped.  But once they'd found out the destruction their man was planning, Felicity had urged them to go.  She reasoned that if they could figure out more details of his plan, they could start to form their own plan or, perhaps, put an end to it before it even began.  The man in question had an unidentified meeting to which Felicity, Oliver and Diggle had followed him. They'd almost gotten out without notice, until an unseen alarm tripped and now they were on the move, hoping to reach somewhere before one of the many men who'd come after them caught up.  

Oliver had left his hood and gear back at the hotel.  It was daylight anyway, and the less the Green Arrow showed up outside of Starling City, the more chance they had of keeping his secret safe.  Oliver Queen and Green Arrow did not need to be in the same city at the same time.

Diggle had stationed himself outside of the meeting building just off the Marianplatz.  He'd found an empty rooftop to provide surveillance when it was decided that Felicity needed to go in with Oliver to get as much information off any computers that she could.  Diggle was in their ear, constantly telling them how far back Straussman's men were, and where the best place to get out of sight would be.  

Felicity had quickly opened up her GPS on her phone, noting the celebration going on in the square.  The amount of people made the area disorienting and he could tell she was getting frustrated as more and more people kept pushing into her.  At one point, a bag caught her arm and her phone slipped from her hand.  

Oliver's reaction was quick; his free hand grabbing the phone in one easy move before any feet could trample it.  Trying to orient himself, he quickly glanced down at the screen and saw they were almost to the main square, the glockenspiel coming up on their right.  He held her hand tightly in his, picking up his pace.  

The next thing he knew, her hand slipped from his fingers and he just made out her cutoff cry of terror as he turned, eyes wildly glancing about. He reacted instantly, his body lunging in the direction of her voice, but he found nothing but more people.  No familiar blondes or blue baseball caps in sight.

"Digg!"  he all but yelled into his comm.  "Where is she?"

"I don't know, man," his partner replied in a gruff voice, "I lost her."

A growl ripped from Oliver's throat as fear engulfed him.  He knew they were being followed, but he thought they were far enough ahead.  He'd misjudged their speed, or possibly their numbers, either way he internally berated himself for the mistake.

"You still have two more following you," Diggle informed him quickly.  "The two who grabbed her came from the opposite direction."

Oliver closed his eyes briefly trying to reign in his overwrought emotions.  He'd heard her comm go dead the second her hand had been ripped from his, and he still had her phone in his other hand, trying to navigate them.  That left them with nothing to trace.

Oliver took a deep breath, refusing to let anger and panic consume him.  The man they'd been investigating was dangerous, and he surrounded himself with men even more lethal than himself.  Most of them had years of combat and heavy arms training.  They were ruthless, leaving trails of bodies everywhere they went.  If you got in their way, you were in trouble, and they held nothing back.

Instead of focusing on these thoughts, Oliver made his way through the throngs of people, and over to a store front.  Due to the crowd, he was able to make his way to the back stairs and up to the roof without being seen or questioned.

From there, he searched frantically for familiar blonde hair and the blue baseball cap he'd leant her that morning. 

"Anything?" Diggle commanded over the comms, and Oliver growled in frustration.  He knew it was enough of an answer for his friend.

He began moving, running and jumping from one building to the next to get to a higher vantage point. 

Finally, he spotted her.  Blonde ponytail bouncing up and down as she was hauled along by two imposing men.

Something feral rose up within Oliver at the sight of her being manhandled, and he gritted his teeth at the growl rising in his throat.  He saw nothing but red as he kept his eyes on her, taking note of the direction they were headed.  Both men looked to be about his height and weight, and definitely armed.  As much as he wanted to jump down and run after her right away, he knew he needed to know where they were going and his best options for attack.  

Carefully, he began tracing their moves along the rooftops, suddenly thankful for the close proximity of older European buildings.  He moved quickly, running and jumping, scaling taller buildings with almost inhuman ease, his eyes flickering back to find her every few seconds.

He wouldn't lose her.  He _couldn’t_ lose her.  

His throat closed up at the thought and his breathing became irregular enough that Diggle demanded an update.

"I see her," Oliver grunted, voice thick with more emotion than he would normally show.  

"Get her back, Oliver."  It was a command, and Oliver normally would have bristled at it, but this was his goal as well and nothing was going to stand in his way.

Just then, he saw Felicity lash out, one of her attackers falling sideways, and then she was running.  He held his breath for a second, pride welling inside him, before sprinting to the fire escape and easily jumping to the ground.

The second his feet hit the old cobblestone, he was running in her direction, cutting in a slant so he could reach her before the other men.  She'd managed to free herself, but she was still being pursued and if they caught up to her this time, she was going to be in even more trouble.   Men like them did not like getting beat by anyone and if you gave them trouble, they would simply eliminate you.

His heart pounded in his chest as he wove through the crowds of people.  As conspicuous as it would be, he wished he had his bow, itching for the security of it in his hand.

Oliver ran directly for the area that Felicity was headed.  He needed her in his arms and safe, then he'd worry about the men coming after her.  After all, he didn't know if there were any more of them around, and he wasn't going to take that chance.  He was going to find her first.

He saw her blue hat bound into a store front when the path in front of her became cut off by various carts and vendors.  He cringed at the thought of her getting trapped, and pushed harder through the hoards of people, ignoring the disgruntled calls left in his wake.

When he reached the door she'd entered, he was surprised to find it wasn't a store but a business building.  As soon as he crossed the threshold, he saw the offices that lined the hallways and then the staircase that lay straight ahead.  Instinctively, he knew she'd headed up.  The rest of the doors would be locked; he didn't even bother trying them.  She would have made this same assumption and ran for higher ground.

Bounding up the stairs, he heard the sound of the door being pushed open below him and gritted his teeth.  The other men were here.  

Just then his heart stopped when he heard glass shattering from above and a startled scream.  Felicity's scream.

Rage surrounded him and he flew up the rest of the stairs, reaching the top floor in seconds and quickly taking in the open floor plan.  Walls cut off his view of most of the windows, but he saw the abandoned empty space and the light filtering in through the windows ahead of him.  He heard footsteps to his left and leapt in that direction, turning the corner just in time to see a man fling Felicity against a wall, his hands clasped around her neck.

He heard her gasp as her feet kicked out and she even landed a few good elbow shots, but the other man was too strong.  

Oliver was on him in seconds, every part of his body pushed on by pure anger.  

The man turned surprised eyes on him the moment he landed his first blow to the kidney area.  He fell away from Felicity with a grunt of pain and stumbled backward when Oliver threw another punch to his jaw.  Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Felicity sink to the floor, her hands clasping her neck and sucking in deep breaths.

With a few more well-placed blows, the man was incapacitated then dead on the floor.

He turned, every muscle in his body tensed and ready for action, his survival instincts kicked into high gear.  His eyes found Felicity huddled in the corner, her eyes brimming with tears.  Suddenly, his anger dissipated and concern swept over him.  He took one step toward her, but then heard something.  He placed himself directly in front of Felicity, protecting her.

"You've got company," Diggle warned in his ear just before two men came barreling into the room, guns drawn.

"Felicity, run!" Oliver yelled as he rolled, dodging the bullets and pulling the men's attention away from her.

One quick front roll and he'd swept their legs out from under them, grabbing their guns and throwing them away.

He kicked out, his foot connecting with one man's temple, sending him crumpling to the floor.

The other man took that opportunity to come at Oliver from behind, wrapping his arms around his neck and squeezing.

Oliver's vision began to swim, but he kept fighting, his elbows coming in contact with the man's side.  And then he saw a rush of blonde and the man on his back howled in anger, his arms releasing Oliver.

When he'd turned, she saw Felicity being thrown against the wall for the second time, and Oliver's vision tunneled to nothing but rage.

In two swift moves, the man was gone, and Oliver was left heaving, his body on high alert, sweeping the area for anyone else.  Every muscle was tense, waiting for someone to come and attack what was his.  No one would hurt them.  No one would hurt _her_.

As he looked around, he finally saw her, sitting against the wall, one hand behind her head as she stared up at him in terror.

At first, he froze, wondering briefly if that terror was directed at him - at who he had just become to defend her.  

But then their eyes locked and he saw the concern filter into them - concern for him.  He ate up the distance between them in two long strides, crouching down and running his still shaking hand against her cheek.

Her face crumbled then, palm pressing against his hand, and he felt his heart relax as soon as his fingers made contact with her skin.  She was alive.  She was safe.  

It's what he kept telling himself as he gathered her to him and swept her up in his arms.  Stepping around the bodies of the three men, he quickly headed for the stairs.

"I got her." He said quietly through gritted teeth into the comms.  "We're coming out the back.  There were... casualties."

Diggle grunted, and Oliver knew he was coming with the car.  He'd meet them in the back alley.

Felicity clutched his grey t-shirt with one hand, the other still cradling the back of her head.  He felt her trembling in his arms and held her tighter, brushing his lips across her temple. 

"You're safe," he whispered.  "I've got you."

She nodded, turning her head into his chest and letting out a strangled sob.  He held her tighter, quickly yet carefully navigating the last few steps and finding the back door.

Seeing the black Audi S7 pull into the alley, Oliver heaved a sigh of relief.  Diggle opened the backseat door for him, and he carefully set Felicity inside.  But when he tried to pull away, she held onto his shirt tighter.

"I've got to go take care of the..." his voice trailed off when his eyes met her wide-eyed stare full of guilt.

He tugged her to him then, roughly whispering in her ear.  "This is not your fault.  Don't even go there."

It wasn't until she finally nodded, her cheek shifting against his stubble that he let her go with a light squeeze.  "I'll be right back.  You're safe.  I promise.  Digg's here."

The car ride back to the hotel was silent.  Diggle exchanged looks with each of them in the rearview mirror.  When they finally made it back to the hotel, Felicity still hadn't said a word.

The moment they entered their suite, she immediately made her way to her bedroom.  Diggle gave Oliver a look and he knew the man was concerned about Felicity.  But they both also knew that she had to start the conversation.  

She'd refused their questioning glances in the car - instead drawing into herself and staring out the window. 

"How soon can the plane be ready?" Oliver asked quietly, shrugging of his grey t-shirt and grabbing the white one he'd taken off this morning.

"Probably a few hours," the other man replied, and nodded toward his room.  "I'll go make the call."

Oliver nodded in thanks.  This mission was over.  It had been silently agreed upon during the car ride.  They were going back to Starling City and they would work with what they had found.  Too many risks had been taken today.

Oliver looked toward Felicity's room and could hear the water running from the bathroom inside.  Making his way in, he closed the door and tried to decide if he should knock on the bathroom door or just wait.  Either way, he wasn't going to leave her alone.

After one more look at the closed door, he made his way to the window and stared out of it over the city.  Europe had this amazing way of blending the old with the new and somehow making it look natural.  Tall modern buildings stood in one direction while the older spires and cobbled streets wove through the foreground.

His thoughts went to Felicity and the overarching fear that had consumed him the moment she had disappeared earlier today.  It was one of his worst nightmares come true.  One second she had been there and the next she'd been gone, literally ripped from his grasp.  He'd let his guard drop for one moment, turned his back to look at the phone and make sure they were headed in the right direction and she'd disappeared.

His feelings for her had grown steadily in the year they'd worked together.  So much so that it was a regular occurrence for them to spend evenings at her apartment, falling asleep on her couch as they watched a marathon of movies.  He found he'd showed up at her place more and more when his world was falling down around him.  During his mother's trial, she'd been his shoulder to lean on - constantly holding his hand after long days.  She didn't ask him to talk, she just sat with him, told him stories, made him smile.

She'd woven her way into his heart - so much so, that one day, it became clear to him that he didn't know what his life would be like without her, and, moreover, he didn't want to find out.

Today, that reality had become a possibility, and it'd struck a nerve of terror in him that he hadn't felt since his days on the island.  

Running his hand through his hair, he let out a long sigh.  He jumped slightly when he felt her fingers on his arm - surprised that he hadn't heard her come out of the bathroom.

He could see her red-rimmed eyes, but said nothing.  She ran her fingers down his arm to his hand, and turned it over, inspecting it.  

A puff of air left her lips, and she looked up at him, meeting his eyes in the dimly lit room, concern and sadness swimming in their blue depths.  And he could still see the slight fear that hovered around the edges.  She knew she was safe, but he could feel the tension still present in her body.

Oliver lifted his free hand up and ran it softly over her hair, down to the back of her head, feeling the bump forming from where she'd hit her head after being thrown against the wall.

She hissed through her teeth, and then pulled her head away from his hand.  He frowned as she gently tugged his fingers and led them over to the bed.  

Silently, Felicity sat down on the edge, pulling him down beside her and bringing up the washcloth that she held in her other hand.

He watched in amazement as she placed his hand in her lap, her fingers trailing over the ragged skin of his knuckles, torn during the fight.  Gently, she placed the warm washcloth over the damaged skin, sandwiching his hand in between hers.

His fingers reacted involuntarily, quickly curling around her smaller hand and holding tight.  The touch provided a comfort he could not measure.  Her eyes flew to his and he watched as her pupils dilated, and something akin to longing flashed through her gaze.

Once she'd carefully, tended to one hand, she reached for the other.  Repeating the process, she cared for his wounds as he watched her.

His initial reaction was to refuse this treatment.  After all, she was the one who needed to be cared for. He'd felt the bump on her head - knew she needed to ice it.  And he could see the scrapes on her arms and knees from hitting the wooden floors.

Anger flared in him again at the realization of how she'd been treated.  Her fingers squeezed around his, as if she saw his reaction and knew what he was thinking.  When their eyes locked, he was met with understanding.

With his free hand, Oliver reached up and pulled the hat off her head, tucking the stray strands of hair behind her ears after throwing the hat to the bed beside him.

Her eyes fluttered closed and his stomach tightened as he watched her lean into his touch.  Something possessive wove through him and he wanted to pull her close and never let her be hurt again.

His thumb brushed over her cheek and then dipped down to run across her lips.  He felt, as well as saw, her deep inhale.  Her eyes flicked open and found his.  Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against hers, felt her quickened breaths against his cheek and was amazed at the effect it had on him.

He'd come so close to losing her.  So very close.  His hand must have tightened on her cheek because soon he heard her soft voice wash over him.

"I'm safe.  I'm okay.  You saved me."  Her voice trembled slightly, but he could hear the surety in her words, and nodded.

He swallowed before he answered.  "I was so scared."

It was a big admission for him.  Talking about his feelings never came easy.  But with Felicity, it didn't feel like as much of a mountain to climb.  He'd admitted things to her he could barely admit to himself.

"Me too," she confessed softly, and he heard the sob she swallowed.  "I was right next to you and then I wasn't... and I knew they were going to k..."

Her voice was interrupted as he pressed his lips against hers, cutting off her words, refusing to let her say them.  Oliver turned his hand over in her lap and threaded his fingers with hers, using the hand on her face to angle her head up so he could slant his lips even more over hers.

Felicity gasped when he pulled back, and he waited a second, wondering if he'd just made a mistake. But then she lifted herself up, shifting to wrap her free arm around his neck as her legs came to either side of his lap and she found his lips again.

Their hands stayed intertwined between them, but the washcloth was long forgotten on the floor as Oliver moved his free hand from her face to her neck and around to her back to pull her closer.  He suddenly had the need to feel her as close as possible so he could hear her heartbeat in her chest, feel her breath upon his skin.  

Felicity shifted forward, pressing insistently against him, her breaths coming out in pants as she moved her mouth from his to trail across his cheek.  Her movements became almost frantic; hands scrambling across his back, grasping for purchase as if she was trying to convince herself she was safe, desperate to feel something besides fear.  

Oliver knew that feeling well.  But he also knew that something like this done in the heat of the moment could be disastrous.  When they took that next step, he wanted it to be when they both were ready and not because of a near death experience.

Her hands shoved his shirt up and over his head before he realized what was happening, and when she reached for the button of his cargo pants, his hands caught hers, stilling them between their bodies. 

Felicity pulled back in confusion and stared at him, tears swimming in her wild eyes.  His heart broke at her expression and quickly his fingers were tracing her cheeks and cupping her face.

"You don't want to do this right now," he rasped and she looked hurt for a moment, before anger flashed through her eyes.

She tried to move away, but he held her close.  "You're scared and hurt and you want to feel something - anything - besides that.  But when we do this, it will be because we are both ready and not like this.  I don't want you regretting this in the morning."

Oliver watched his words sink in and saw the moment they hit home as she crumpled forward and he caught her, wrapping her in his arms as her body shook with sobs.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered against his neck and he shook his head, whispering words of comfort in her ear.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he intoned against her ear before placing a kiss against her hair.

He heard the door shift open and glanced over to see a concerned Diggle peering inside.  Oliver sent him a look, silently telling him they were okay before the door was once again shut.

With her in his arms, Oliver shifted backwards on the bed, until he was resting against the pillows. Stretching his legs out beneath her, he let Felicity move until she was pressed against him, her head tucked underneath his chin.

Her tears trailed against his skin, but he didn't care.  He'd take all the fear and hurt from her if he could. For now, he'd let her tears mark his flesh and try to absorb as much as he could.  He'd do anything and everything for the woman in his arms.

Tightening his hold, he let her cry until her tears were exhausted, and she was fighting to stay awake in his arms.

"Sleep," he told her softly as she kept jerking awake.  "I've got you."

His heart fluttered when she pressed a kiss over his heart, before laying her head back down and drifting off, a murmured, "Thank you," on her lips.


End file.
